How Do You Sleep?

I have a question to Cupid or God.Why did you make heart aches such a pain? Why does love make you go blind?Why was this thing called "dumping" exists??Why is it hard to move on??Yeah, i may sound like a wussy whining but seriously,dude,you cant blame me for being so hurt.I am a human being, i have a heart, i can stand tall n proud like a real man but not even the wound of a gun shot can hurt you like the wound of a broken heart.

__________

I dun wanna say that falling in love is wrong but i have to admit its the most dangerous black hole in this universe. It just sucks u away without knowing and without warning it just happens.One moment you were awake and feeling so alive about everything around you, And if you dare to even close your eyes thinkin you're on top of the world, you'll wake up either winding up in the dump by your so called "sweetheart" or you wake up and not being able to see anything because your eyes are blind now. It is ridiculous i have got to say. Why do some girls dump you?

_______________

Is it because you're too ugly? Not rich enough? Too dumb or just not good at all ??I am confused with the term " I Love you (Insert Name Here) ". Its all just a damn lie isn't it? When girls are tired of the person they love, they just dump off that person and excuse themselves with an I am sorry i just stopped loving you shit.Most girls call guys cheaters but what does that make of the other 50% on the cheat list? Its those damn cheating whores.Well,I preferably suggest the term known as " Nut Sluts". It aint funny cause its not meant to be funny. "Nut" stands for how dumb and selfish a girl can be and "Sluts" obviously stands for how such a fucking whore Biatch "it" can be!

______________________

I guess most guys who end up becoming playboys or "cheaters" are the ones who fell in love with these "Nut Sluts". And i probably fell in love with one.If you are reading this. Please do enjoy every word i squeeze into this post. I am not in any chance, gonna turn myself to be the new Mr.Hugh Hefner though. I sincerely apologize to Mr.Hefner but i assure you all of my reasons here are most probably not the reason why he was famous for as "Mr.Playboy". All i know of is that he was a visionary man who developed a "Playboy" industry not just for Men but for women too,perhaps.

_____________________________

Back to da topic.. I wonder what do these "Nut Sluts" feel when they dump you? After that when they feel sorry for you they say, " I think let's just be friends? " And before they hang up, "I still love you, you know??" . Yeah let's forget about it and be friends and have me accept the bullshit of u saying u love me still, while you're around with another guy whom you believe to love you moe than his mommy. What about us? We loved you, we shed tears for you, we tried everything without ever caring what the consequences are! We loved you even you hurt us and yet we are still able to forgive you no matter what shit u did. I guess these "Nut Sluts" were born to to spread diseases like this.No wonder they are so pretty. They are The secretly sent Omens of love, spreading diseases of heart aches and permanent scars all over it.

I have alot of knowledge about these "Nut Sluts" but yet after all these months including now, i am still hurt and very in love with the "Nut Slut". I can even still forgive her after all the disease she made it spread over my heart. Infact, i still talk to her alot. I try getting over her whether by talking or not talking to her but i have to admit, "Nut Sluts" are as slick as Slick Rick. I just hope i can get past her and prove to be wrong for dumping me like some Dog shit. For the guy who's with her and for the future guys who's gonna be with her, you have my sympathies.

Speaking of the truth, i hope she's always happy no matter what. I will always love and treasure her. I just hope she knows that she'll never find anyone that trully loves her more than i do. I will always be there for her no matter what. People may say I'm stupid but i am not. If you trully love someone, you can never hate them. I may either be too forgiving or just too sissy but I am sorry coz I truly did AND do love her..

......

Sorry for the long post..

Every thing's Meant to Be Broken...

You were the feeling that i would never want to let go of. You were the reason why i wanted to go on living. I always thought no matter what happened you would always come back falling into my arms. Perhaps, I was blind and lost in my own world. I want to start over but how do i do that when i spent every last sweat and tears just for you.

______

I am a lonely kid in this Big world. I may be seem as someone else but i am not. I am different but there's nothing special about me. i am not the kind of guy who'd have a gang of guys to chill out with nor am i the guy who has the ladies around all the time. I have always been the same since day 1 of my life. I had always been alone and journeying through this life all alone. Although i may be hated, I had always loved and cared for everything and everyone no matter what. To me, even if you're an enemy, i will still deeply care and love you. I am not a kind or a sweet person, but i have a fragile heart even more fragile than a little girl. I love too much til i burn my skin right through my flesh and bones. I love too much sometimes til i forget to love myself back.

_______

i never loved anyone more, but you and only you. I never did anything to hurt you. I never left you when you were in pain. I had always been alone until you came to light up my soul. When i thought we were always gonna watch each others back forever, you went off letting it all hit me. I will never hate you for hurting me, no matter a trillion times because i love you and it'd hurt me more to see you hurt. When i thought loneliness could be erased forever, it came back to me.

__________

While you are laughing, I will be crying. While you are sound asleep, I am busy awake worrying about you. While you are with someone else, I am all alone picking up the pieces that you left. I can never blame you for it all and i wonder why. But since you're already gone, there's nothing that i can do. i will continue to roam in this world alone til my time is up. I hope your life is more fulfilling than mine. I will always be the one who would always truly be the one that loves you. I don't know what's left anymore. Guess, every thing's just meant to me broken.

Top Of The World!

Today was one boring day as i had only 2 classes with an equivalent of 2 hours only today. I am tortured at a very early morning with my Critical Thinking Skills, lecturer, that may be gay both ways. His eye lashes were as if it was a girls eye lashes and the way he expressed was as gayful as ever. Its not that i have anything against him but it kind of gave me a tingly feeling when he giggles and joke with his gayish charm. He's a friendly guy that is VERY open minded, or perhaps, TOO open minded. He's a good guy and a friendly teacher, as i am looking foward to learn plenty from him.

____

I may seem very not so open minded but i' the same as every other guy. Well, basically every straight guy goes "WTF!" when he comes across a gay guy which is actually in both definitions. I maybe very striaght and typical as the other guys but yet i am willing to open my heart and learn from this interesting lecturer. He maybe a Man on the outside and a woman on the inside.

______

After that class i went for Macroeconomics but then it lasted for only 30 mins. It wasted my time as i went on for about 5 hours doing nothing in college.Well, had a boring day and a lazy one too. Hope College life gets better for me and all.Just wish i can make plenty more friends and get to know more chicks too XD jkn jkn.Well im going to go watch Crank 2 now. Ciaoz!